How much does it cost to live in Japan? Now that’s a good question. Some people say Japan is expensive, others say it’s inexpensive. Thanks internet, how did we make do before you? After a lot of research, I’ve decided it’s really another question in disguise. I don’t know if you’ll like it or not but I feel it’s my duty to tell you anyway. Hey, that’s me – always looking out for your best interests. So what’s the real question then? Okay, I’ll tell you: The real question is, “how low are your standards?”
I went to the gym last week. Emphasis on ‘went’. When I got there it was busy. All the stuff I wanted to use was in use – everything. I thought I ought to sit down and wait. Then I noticed it. I was intimidated by all the muscley guys getting their pump on. I didn’t want to sit down in there. All that focused energy made the atmosphere intense. It triggered something primal. I immediately ran away. To the train station.
I thought to myself, “I don’t really enjoy the gym anymore.” It was fun when it was all new and interesting. Now it’s a chore. My new hobby is to come up with excuses for why not to go and instead enjoy the warm fuzzies of acquiescence to sloth. It’s disgustingly indulgent, like eating a plate of Belgian waffles. Yummy.
It’s not all good though. Failure for lack of self-discipline serves to overtly affront my character. I mean let’s get real here – how can I wax egoic, thinking to myself all day about how amazing I am, if I’m so easily toppled by wants for material comfort? A slap-in-the-face contradiction. I’m better than that.
There’s a life lesson I learnt from Disney: Aladdin was a diamond in the rough. Thanks Disney, I hear what you’re saying. There’s a gemstone in all of us. Inside me there’s a Bruce Lee lurking. A Mo Ali weaving. I know what’s inside me, but do you? How could you? Inside everyone there’s a gemstone, surrounded by imperfection. Are you gonna keep it to yourself? Or are you gonna show it to the world? It’s time to break out the Mr Sheen. Polish ’til you shine. Who are you really? Show me.
It’s time for a revolution. One life, one chance. It’s all a choice. Weakness or strength. Flaws or perfection. The current regime is weak – overthrow it! The rulers are unprincipled – oust them! It’s time for a personal revolution. Embrace the struggle. Time to DO and let those who can’t keep up marvel from the sidelines.
The crowd’s eyes trained on me. Blink and you’ll miss it. The world better be watching, ’cause here I go.
I had a dream about aikido last night. I like it when that happens. It’s better than dreaming about a gay experience with a mechanic, at any rate. I dreamt I was moving too early in response to a punch to the midsection. I like being able to say this because dreaming about aikido means it’s always on my mind. If you dream about something, it’s like you’ve thought about it so much that it’s imprinted itself upon your subconscious. Usually, anyway – gay experiences with mechanics don’t count.